The Reyes Report

Ah retirement … the good life.  You may have heard it before, but really, it’s true. We checked.

This Christmas Conrad and I spent two luxuryous weeks in South Florida. You know the weather map they show on the news every morning? We live where it’s blue in the winter … maybe even white. But my parents? They picked that little triangle at the tip of Florida that’s always orange .. maybe even red. Even better, though we had a few work days to put in at the beginning of the trip, the rest of the vacation was what we call in the biz “lids down” – which made it a real retirement experience.

What do retired people do? Exactly what you think. Only it’s not silly, it’s awesome. Hmmm I wonder if Seinfeld’s Florida episodes were an intentional deception method by the government to encourage us to work longer? Because truly, I’m ready. I’ll retire today if I must. Bring it on.

The agenda is worth sharing, just to rub it in… Sundays are Flea Market mornings. So dad, Conrad and I bunded into dad’s new, purple (or what he calls “maroon” and the dealer calls “red”) SUV and got in line with the migrant orange pickers who sell some really good stuff. Everything from collectible glass ware, to fishing poles, to fresh tomatoes, orchids and tomales. The smells and tastes are as fun to take in as the sights. From there it’s a Sunday breakfast on the porch which if we’re lucky features mom’s homemade corn pancakes. That’s right, kids. Corn. If you haven’t had it, you’re missing out.

Dad is also reusing his captain’s license with the national park service now. Which means we get to swarm the national park service boat to Boca Chita and party tropical style. Speaking of partying tropical style, our time also included a trip north to the beaches of South Beach, happy hour raw bar at Monty’s and New Year’s Eve at Morada Bay dancing the night away under a starry sky bordered by palm trees above and sandy beaches below.

Oh, and I shouldn’t forget that Monday’s are bingo night. But don’t underestimate blue-haired bingo. We are NOT talking about 5-in-a-row. Our “youth group” (median age = 31, mind you) wandered in ready to punch our 5 dots (including free space). Conrad was surprised to learn that you couldn’t have any number in any column (no, Conrad, there is no B35), Andy thought you had to get 5 in a row to win. Yikes, we were behind the times. But we were rescued by the wiser members of our table and shown the light of bingo configurations like the Picture Album and the Double Postage stamp).

There was also shuffleboard and hot tub, canoeing in the everglades, fresh strawberry shakes from the farm and Conrad’s fresh and famous guacamole … but alas, I’m no longer retired and there just isn’t time in the day to give full details of the trip. Suffice it to say, if you were there, you hopefully remember highlights of your own … and if you weren’t there, well, we missed you!

Thanks to Momma & Poppa O, the consummate Camp Leaders of Camp Osmon South.